Wee managed to have a couple good conversations since then. She finds them draining, and I don't blame her but she understands that I need to get things off my chest once in a while. She also doesn't understand why I would be angry at the org... I've tried explaining how the shunning tears apart families (even mine) but she still just blames individuals as cultists are trained to do. She is the type of person, though, who once she does wake up and see the unfair mental influence, she will hate the org worse than I do.
We went to the 2 day mind control session last weekend, which involved 4 hours of driving in the snow each way... On the drive home we talked about how it is a very real possibility that I could eventually be DF'ed. I explained that I have to plans to ever go in service again, and that will eventually bring the hounders around. She understands now that us sitting down with them at any time will start the ball rolling. I'm glad were on the same page there.
I've given her time between conversations to digest things, I think it helps. I see her accepting things more as they are, and I've been able to learn what her real beliefs are. She doesn't believe only JWs will survive Armageddon, but still believes we are in the last days and the big A will be along any minute now. She also believes we desperately need a policy change on child abuse cases. She's starting to see Christianity as a whole isn't evil, but doesn't quite understand Christianity 101 as the bible spells it out. She still manages to read JW doctrine into the scriptures. We honestly haven't been working on that enough.
For a while there I was getting a bit antsy, wanting her to wake up already. I see now that for her it will take time, and will go mostly unsaid on her part. She misses most meetings and rarely goes in service, but I think she feels a little guilt sometimes.
My current plan is not to attack the doctrines anymore, but to try and show her how to read the bible properly, without WT blinders. She will piece it together on her own. Once I see her getting annoyed at things taught at the meeting, I will know she is on her way.
She's not your typical JW. She has a little badass side, which I've always loved. She seems to just be holding onto some of the ideals and is completely unaware of the mind control she's under. I can see that she doesn't want to lose her family and friends, who can blame her? I've made it clear that I will support her in anything she wants to do, even if that means coming along to some meetings. I think she just sees JWs as a decent way to gather to worship, and of course it feels comfortable there as a born-in.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and if nothing screws it up too soon, I truly believe she will walk away with me. I'm honestly amazed how well she's been handling everything, despite my initial freak out when I woke up.
Thank you all for your opinions and advice, I really appreciate it!